Can't Stay
by phoebe9509
Summary: The team treats Emily poorly since her return and she's had enough.


Hotch took a look around the lobby before returning his gaze to the five people in front of him. "Where's Prentiss?" he asked no one in particular.

Morgan shrugged, "She's probably passed out, she had a lot to drink last night."

Hotch glanced at the rest of the faces around him and none of them could tell him where she was, or if they had talked to her. Then again, he already knew the answer to if they did or not.

He let out a sigh before he stepped closer to his team, not wanting anyone else to hear what he had to say. "Okay listen, I'm only going to say this once, you all need to get over this. Yes Prentiss didn't tell us everything, and yes she kept secrets, but you know what, she is still our friend. Who she was _before _she came to the BAU doesn't matter. What matters is that she is here now and we all care about her. So take the stick out of your ass and get over it. She doesn't deserve to be treated the way you are all treating her." Hotch paused to check everyone's reaction, when he was pleased with what he saw, the guilt seeping into their features, he continued, "I'm going to go get Prentiss, all of you can go to the plane, considering you won't be much help anyway," he told them grumpily then turned and headed away from them.

As he stood in front of her hotel door, Hotch couldn't help but be afraid of what he might find inside. Ever since she returned, things haven't been going good. No one talked to her and they often excluded her from their nights out. Last night was the first night they all did something together since she got back, and that was because they were away on a case and Hotch invited her without telling anyone else. When his mind traveled back to last night, he couldn't help but blame himself for what happened. Emily showed up and everyone stopped talking. They all looked away, and he knew Emily regretted accepting his invitation. If he was being honest, he didn't blame her. Hotch had quickly scooted down so she could sit next to him, but she shook her head and declined then made her way to the bar. Once the brunette was away from them, the conversation started up again, but this time it was all about how she just showed up out of the blue. Hotch looked down at the drink in front of him and didn't mention that he invited her.

While the rest of the team continued to chat in their booth, Hotch couldn't help but keep an eye on Prentiss. He watched as she threw drink after drink back at the bar and he felt that he had to do something to get her to slow down, but then again, she wouldn't be in that situation if he hadn't invited her without telling the others. But as he continued to stare and he saw her wandering eyes return to their table more than once he knew he was going to have to do something about the way everyone was treating her, but tonight wasn't the night.

The team finally decided to call it a night and everyone shot Emily a look on the way out. Hotch told them all to go ahead and he'd see them tomorrow morning. Once the door shut behind Reid, Hotch made his way over to where Prentiss sat at the bar.

"Are you alright?" he asked after he cleared his throat.

"Of course I'm alright," she slurred while she continued to stare straight ahead.

"How many drinks have you had?"

"Not enough."

"Come on," he started as he wrapped his hand around her arm, "I'll walk you back to the hotel."

Emily quickly snatched her arm from his grasp and turned to face him. "I don't need you to walk me anywhere Hotch. I don't need your help." A tiny part of her brain was telling her to stop talking to him like that, he was still her boss, but the alcohol side of her brain was winning. "I came here because you invited me and they looked at me like I have the plague. So I'm sorry to say, I don't want and or need your help Hotch. I can make it back all on my own."

Hotch watched as she turned away from him again and he couldn't stop himself from taking a step closer to her. "I'm sorry Emily," he whispered.

"Not your fault," she slurred again. "I'm the one who fucked up." She slammed her shot back then signaled for the bartender to refill her glass. "I'll see you tomorrow," Emily dismissed him without another glance back.

"Be careful," he told her regretfully. Hotch didn't want to leave her when she was like this, but he knew she wasn't going to come back with him, so with one more look at her, he walked out of the bar and headed back to the hotel.

Now as he stood in front of her door, raising his hand slowly to knock, he was scared on how she would act this morning. His hand finally collided with the door and he waited patiently for her to answer. After a minute passed and he heard no sounds from the other side, he knocked again.

"Prentiss?" he called out and waited. Nothing. "Prentiss!" he tried again, this time louder. Silence. "EMILY!" he yelled as he banged on the door. When nothing happened, he channeled his inner Morgan and kicked in the door. He walked into the room slowly then spotted Emily sprawled out face down on her bed wearing the small dress she had sported the night before. It covered all of the appropriate places but Hotch knew that if she moved an inch in either direction, she wouldn't be covered any longer. Finally managing to move his eyes away from her long legs, he looked up and saw that her hair was covering her face.

He stepped closer to the bed and saw that there were tissues surrounding her. After taking a seat on the edge of the bed, he slowly brushed her hair off of her face and his heart dropped. There were dried tear marks on her cheeks and her eyelashes were still damp. Hotch felt the need to punch himself when he saw what his actions had caused. If he had known she was that upset, he would have stopped by her room last night to make sure she was alright. Just to offer a shoulder to cry on or even just be there to talk, but then again he knew Emily and he knew there wasn't a single chance in hell that she would break in front of him. Not over how the others made her feel anyway.

"Emily," he called softly as he lightly shook her shoulder. The past few months, since she's returned, she's been rather jumpy and he didn't want to scare her when she woke up. "Emily," he said with a little bit more force.

She stirred in her sleep as she tried to move away from his hand. Finally the fog cleared slightly and she realized that someone was in her room and calling her name. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Hotch sitting on her bed trying to get her attention. "What are you doing here?" she asked in a scratchy early morning voice.

"Good morning," he started, "its time to head back home. Everyone else went to the plane already."

"Oh," was all she said as she turned her head to face away from him, closing her eyes once more.

Hotch's eyebrows flitted together and he wondered how this day was going to end. "Don't you want to get up? The team is waiting."

"Who cares," she mumbled as she dug her head farther into her pillow. "They already hate me, so why not make them hate me even more by making them wait."

There was a strong desire to reach out and touch her, but Hotch restrained himself. He had been telling himself for months since she returned that it was wrong to want her, but it hadn't stopped his heart from longing for her. "They don't hate you," he whispered softly.

Emily lifted her head up and sniffed the air causing Hotch to gaze at her with a strange look on his face. "I smell bullshit," she finally said then returned her head back to the pillow.

"They do not hate you Emily," Hotch said again, this time in his no nonsense unit chief voice.

Emily quickly sat up on her knees and faced Hotch. Her world spun for a few seconds before she controlled it. "Don't you dare sit there and say that because we both know you're lying. You wanna say that they don't hate me well they are doing a pretty damn good job at making me think that they do. Garcia doesn't even talk to me and I figured out of everyone she would be the easiest, but no, she doesn't smile, she doesn't joke, she doesn't do anything around me. Dave ignores me completely. Reid has said maybe three words to me since I've been back. Morgan," she scoffed, "Morgan hates me most of all. He hates me for not telling him about my assignment, he hates me for lying to him, even though technically I never did. He hates me for getting to know Doyle, flirting with Doyle, and we can't forget fucking Doyle. He's_ never_ going to forgive me," he told him sadly.

"He just needs more time."

"No," she told him as she looked away, "I don't have any more time to give these people and hope that they forgive me someday. I'm done," she stated with confidence.

Hotch didn't like what he was hearing and he knew that he had to do something to fix this. Whatever this was. "What do you mean you're done?" he asked slowly.

"The BAU," she said simply.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm done. I quit. I don't want to be surrounded by people who hate me all day long Hotch. I don't know about you, but I got to tell you, it's not very fun. You're the only one who talks to me and I know even you have to be tired of always being paired with me. Being ignored all day long is not the way I want to live my life. I just have to go somewhere that people actually care about me and don't know anything else about me other than what I tell them."

"The BAU is your dream job Emily. You're telling me you just want to throw it all away?"

"The BAU _was _my dream job. It's not anymore."

Hotch couldn't stop the words 'I quit' from replaying in his mind. What was he supposed to do without her on his team? He already tried it and it didn't work. He wasn't going to lose her again. No matter what he had to do, Hotch knew he had to find a way to make her stay. "What do I have to do to make you stay? Tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"There is nothing you can do Hotch. I already decided last night that I'm done. You won't be able to talk me out of this," she said with sadness in her tone. He was right the BAU has always been her dream job and she loved it so much. She didn't want to think about what it was going to be like without. She had lived months without it and she ached to come back, but once she returned and saw how everyone hated her, she knew that she would have to live the rest of her life without it.

"Everyone on that team cares about you Emily. Everyone. They are still processing all that happened, but that doesn't mean that you need to leave. They'll get over it, I promise you that. I just…I want you to stay. I _need_ you to stay," he confessed.

"Why? You can get Ashley to come back. Everyone liked her in the end."

"I don't want Seaver," he barked. "I want you!"

Emily knew that he wasn't saying that he _wanted_ her, he was just saying that he wanted her on his team, but it didn't stop her heart from speeding up slightly at his words. "Hotch, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep walking through those doors and spending hours on end with people who hate me and won't talk to me. I can't."

Hotch knew that he was going to have to go all out to get her to stay. He was going to have to tell her things that he has never wanted to share. He was going to have to confess. "Since when do you care so much about what other people think of you?" he asked sharply.

Emily was taken aback by his tone and she straightened up a bit. "Probably since those people who think horrible things about me were basically the only family that I've ever actually cared about," she supplied back.

"So what you just want to give up because you don't like what they are saying?"

"They _aren't _saying anything Hotch! I sit down at my desk in complete silence as I listen to Morgan and Reid banter with each other and I miss that because it used to be me and Morgan teasing Reid and now he does it all on his own!" she yelled. This entire conversation was frustrating her.

"What about me?" he asked slowly.

"What about you?" she arched an eyebrow.

Hotch turned his body so he was facing her fully on the bed. "You are an asset to this team Prentiss. I don't want to lose you over this, because we both know that if you leave you're never going to come back. You're going to go onto other things and forget all about us, and I know that that is what you want right now, but we're friends. I care about you. I want you around. And we both know that if you leave we'll never see each other again because you think you would burden me if you wanted to just stop by one day and see me. I don't want to lose that friendship. I already had to survive here without you for months, I'm asking you not to make me do that again."

His heart was pounding. He knew that he didn't come right out and tell her everything he felt but he also knew that in the end she would understand what he was trying to say. And as he stared into her eyes and realization ran through them he wondered if he made the right choice by saying what he did.

"Hotch…" she trailed off. "I'm not…I don't…" Emily didn't know what to say. What could say she? Of course she cared about him, there was never any doubt about that. She wouldn't have been so concerned about his hearing, or the whole Foyet situation if her feelings for him were deep, but there was a small part of her that wondered if he was only saying this to get her to stay. Emily knew she was reading between the lines, trying to see what he was really trying to say.

"Don't say anything, just rethink your decision." Hotch moved closer to her and started to lean in when his phone rang, breaking the two away from each other. "Hotchner," he barked into the phone.

"Where are you man?" Morgan asked loudly. "What's taking so long? We're all getting antsy and we want to go home. Is _she_ the hold up? Tell her to hurry the hell up!" Morgan snapped and hung up quickly.

Hotch's mouth dropped open and he couldn't believe that Morgan just said that. As he shut his phone in frustration he looked back up at Emily and as her eyes filled with tears he realized that she just heard everything that Morgan said. "No, no, no, Emily," he started as he allowed himself to run his hand down her arm, only to have her move away and get off of the bed.

"There is nothing you can say that will make me stay now Hotch," she informed him as she headed for the door. Hotch was up and behind her in a matter of seconds. Before Hotch could think about it, he grabbed her by her arm, turned her around and planted his lips onto hers. His arms snaked around her waist and he tried to convey how he really felt about her in that one single kiss. It didn't matter if no one else on the team wanted her there, he did. It wasn't important that she was ignored all day by everyone else, he talked to her. What Morgan thought wasn't important, his opinion mattered. The rest of the team may not still love her, but he did. He wanted her there on his team, he needed her there. He needed her. He wanted her.

And for a split second Hotch thought she wanted him too, until Emily's hands came up to his chest and pushed him away. Hotch watched sadly as tears streamed down her face. His heart broke as he realized that maybe she didn't want him. And a second later she told him what she wanted.

"I don't want your pity Hotch! I don't want you to think that just because you kiss me I'll stay at the BAU! I want someone who's not going to think that a kiss will solve everything. I hate being pitied Hotch and you know that! So this," she motioned to the two of them, "changes nothing."

"Emily…"

"You better get going, you don't want to keep the rest of the team waiting," she opened the door as she wiped her face quickly to get rid of the tears.

"I'm not leaving you here Emily."

"Yes you are, because I'm not your responsibility anymore. I quit. I'm sorry that I didn't give two weeks notice, but I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry, I guess I'll see you around," Emily told him sadly.

"No you won't. You'll never come around, you've already made up your mind to throw us away," he stated as she practically pushed him out of the door. "And you were never a responsibility."

Emily stopped pushing him out of the door for a split second and he turned to look at her. "I'm not throwing _you_ away, so when I say I'll see you around, I mean I will see you around. But it'll only be you, but I'm guessing by Morgan's call to you, that they won't mind me not being around." She gazed into his eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry," again before starting to shut the door. "You better get going, you don't want to keep your team waiting," was the last thing she said before she shut the door in his face.

Hotch stood on the other side of the door in shock. He couldn't believe that Emily just quit. He also couldn't believe that he had just kissed Emily. It was amazing and he knew that no matter what she said he wasn't going to give up on her. He wanted her and he was pretty positive that she wanted him as well, he just needed to get her to see that his feelings for her were real and that no matter what she did or said she wasn't going to push him away that easily. Hotch's phone rang once more and he let it go to voicemail because he knew that if he answered and someone said something smart to him about the woman who just quit his team because of their actions he was going to end up firing someone. And he was okay with that.


End file.
